There are a range of challenges that we face, when working to improve mental health outcomes for people, here and across the world. Psychosocial challenges, socioeconomic challenges, cultural challenges, environmental challenges, medical challenges and more. Each challenge brings its own range of complexities, its own contextual differences, and a variety of personal experiences.

​Many people, in many systems, do not shy away from the complexities involved with improving mental health challenges in their communities, their friends and their families.

We are moving towards greater patience and understanding, hopefully advocating for better, more comprehensive assistance and longer-term, fit-for-purpose solutions to these issues.

In Australia, we have world-class healthcare, and a seemingly endless stream of advocates, fundraisers, morning teas, awareness campaigns overtly expressing support for mental health.

We also have an unhealthy obsession with real estate, and an aversion to interrogating the realities of accessibility to the fundamental human needs of shelter, agency, privacy, safety and security.

Housing, is essential for good mental health outcomes.

If we truly care about mental health, then we must be prepared to engage with the difficulties facing housing in Australia. It will require work on multiple fronts: tax reform, planning, negative gearing, banking, wages, productivity, training, supply chain, and inequality. It will require cultural attitude adjustments.
It requires consensus, that housing is a human right, before an investment vehicle.

It requires understanding, that house value increases are a function of contributions of the entire economy.

It requires empathy with those who require housing, a focus on fairness, and reminding Australians that housing policy improvements won’t take away their family home – instead trying to ensure that every Australian can actually have a family home.

It’s complex, but essential work. I hope we’ll do it.

In your conversations, understanding the difference between good-faith, and honesty, can go a long way to avoiding time-wasting, hurt feelings and misunderstandings. There are useful distinctions whether you’re trying to navigate the perilous world of online communication, or personal relationships.
 
A version of a good-faith interaction, between people of different views, is one where both parties have a genuine curiosity, open-mindedness and empathy for the experiences and thoughts of the other person. In this reading, empathy for their point of view, is more rooted in an understanding that they have come to that point of view as a result of their own experiences, knowledge, beliefs and motivations. It doesn’t mean that you must agree with them. It means that there is a patience and curiosity for how they came to that point of view, or feeling, and an interest in engaging with that point of view ready to listen to it, and meet it with your own.

A bad-faith interaction between people of opposing views, is one where pedantic obfuscation, ‘winning’, or ‘proving someone wrong’ are the main intentions. It’s an interaction where no party (or one party in particular) has no interest in actually hearing or understanding what the other person has to say. Where there is no curiosity, patience or attempt to meet the other person where they are, and find common ground, or common cause, from which to explore differences in opinion or understanding.
 
For people who are simply having an argument, amongst friends or partners, good-faith means always considering the long-term implications of what you say and what you do. It means putting your love and care for the other person, in front of being correct, and it means working towards a resolution, rather than a win. Bad-faith arguments (we’ve all heard them, and we’ve all had them), can be full of ‘honesty’ and still be brutally painful, and damaging. Good-faith arguments are those where the disagreement is the centre of the dialogue, not the person. In good-faith arguments both parties disagree, and yet are careful and considerate of the person they disagree with.

You can still be upset, hurt, disappointed by good-faith disagreements, but it is not the point of them. In a bad-faith disagreement, pain is part of the intention.
 
Knowing the difference between these approaches can save you a lot of time and emotional energy. I believe in having all the patience and time one can muster, when talking to individuals and communities that are engaging in good faith. Knowing fully well, that you won’t necessarily change anyone’s mind or point of view on the spot (it’s incredibly difficult to do that), but that you can be a part of a process of mutual understanding, and broadening of context, that will stand everyone in good stead for further dialogue. Encountering good-faith, also helps to prime people for future chats, while bad-faith conversations set people up for instant defensiveness in the future, when encountering similar points of view.
 
 
Some truths that are worth remembering:

• People can have intensely held feelings/opinions and still engage in good-faith debate.
  
  
• People can hold onto feelings/opinions very loosely and still enter dialogue in bad faith.
  
  
• Honesty and truth are important, and there are definitely people who engage in dialogue using demonstrably false information.
  
  
• Honesty is the best policy, except sometimes, when it isn’t. It can be used in bad-faith to upset, discombobulate, and derail dialogue.
  
  
• There can be topics that induce bad-faith conversations between people, who otherwise have good-faith conversations and relationships.
  
  
• If someone is just shit-stirring, know that this in a bad-faith discussion and not worth the energy.
  
  
• If someone disagrees with you, but is engaging in good-faith, they are unlikely to change their minds quickly, but an ongoing, good-faith dialogue is a great way for both of you to better understand one another, and whether you continue to disagree or not, learn something.
  
  
• Changing minds is really difficult, and it’s almost impossible when everyone is raging. Whom the god’s would destroy, they first make mad, is an old saying – one that understands the point of bad-faith, frustration and rage-baiting.
  
  
• Curiosity and patience are the bedrock of good-faith discussions. If you cannot agree, you may at least understand more of the context in which the other parties’ ideas/beliefs/feelings have come from. This is a win, even if it’s only an internal win for you.
  
  
• You, your ideas, your opinions, your feelings, are not for everyone. No matter what they are. There is nothing that absolutely everyone agrees with. Feel free to enlighten others as often as you would like to, with as much energy as you would like to invest – but know that investing your time in bad-faith dialogue is a poor investment, and saving your energy for good-faith conversations will result in better returns.
  
  
• Don’t demand good-faith from those with whom you are engaging in bad-faith. Demonstrate a posture of good-faith, before demanding it from others.
  
  
• You can disengage from bad-faith dialogue at any time. (You can disengage from good-faith dialogue at any time too, but it might be a missed opportunity).

Good luck, and happy conversations!

Just Be Nice
- Josh

If a tree falls in the wood, with no one to hear it, does it make a sound?

That is to say, if no one experiences, or observes the sound, are we certain that it happened?

The question is an old philosophical one, with connections to concepts of perception that we see in particle physics, conjuring up wonderful discussions and rabbit-holes for those who wish to chase them.

For today, I want to use something similar to pose a challenge to you.

Can you, over the next week, help someone each day?

It can be a person you know, or it can be a stranger. It can be a small thing, a small act of kindness, or a big thing. It can be a moment, or a commitment. You can do it with their knowledge, or you can help someone in such a way, that they don’t know you helped them at all (this is the hardest level of the challenge).

Anything at all, for anyone – once a day, for a week.

Help someone, with something, once a day, for a week. It can be the same someone, or different people.

But you can’t tell anyone about it.

Do a good deed. Say nothing.

Don’t tell a friend, your partner, your colleague. If there is a person who you helped without their knowledge, you can’t tell them, or anyone else that you did it.

See how it feels. Many, many people struggle with this. The casual mention of a good deed, or the announcement of a deed is, for many, an important part of the process. It feels very strange to tell no one. By no one, I mean, no one. Not only for the week of helping, but forever. Whatever help you gave, you never mention it, ever again, to anyone.

If they thank you, you can acknowledge it, but then that’s it.

That’s the challenge.

Let me know how you go. Don’t let me know what you did, but let me know if you could do it. Let me know how it felt, and what you thought when you did it. Remember, the week of help, is locked away, if you talk about your deeds after the week, you’ve still lost the challenge, and I’d love to know if you do.

Good luck.

- Josh

I travelled to Sydney to have a chat with my mate Mike.

Chatting all things Just Be Nice Project, looking after each other, and some other more personal-slightly strange things.

A few good laughs and hopefully a few good insights into the work that we do at the Just Be Nice Project.

Also available on Spotify here: open.spotify.com/episode/1BXVEJUEkjQ2ISHNsOnboa?si=FM0hL3j4Siy4zh1cbYms0A


Check it out, like subscribe and comment! I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Step Up, Reach Out, and do more to look after the mental health of those around you.

Some thoughts on the way that we talk about people who need help, and how copying and pasting statuses means less to support the well-being of those around you, than actually reaching out and making a proper effort.

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         Like many people I have a couple of shoeboxes with old letters, photos (yep, real photos) and Christmas/birthday cards in them. I don’t often go through them, but recently I was moving house and opened up the boxes to see what was in them.

           It was only to label them for moving (some of the shoeboxes are full of USB cables and old chargers etc) … yet on top of one box was an old Christmas card from my father. I didn’t realise it was from him until I opened it, and I don’t know how it was on top, but it read;

Change is inevitable and it lets us know we’re alive. This Christmas I wish for you the gift of peace. Peace within and peace without – peace with yourself and peace with others. I wish you time to waste = just feeling peaceful. I wish you someone to talk to .. to put your heart at peace. Above all I wish you the freedom to feel and the gift of feeling at peace with the way you feel. You are an extraordinary young man and extraordinary people face extraordinary challenges… they also manage to face those challenges. I know you will face the challenges ahead in ’99 in the same honest, caring, intelligent way you have always done – and I know you’ll come out on top – I just pray that you will know when you get there.
 
         It’s not often you can reach so far into the past and catch a snapshot of who you must have been, but through the context of my life since and our relationship, reading it, I had a little eye-roll to myself. My father aside, I have been fortunate to have had people wishing me peace since I was a kid, and I still get those wishes today. I guess the way that I am is different to most, and people feel I need more peace in my life. It’s like reading my school reports from prep and year 12, both of which say, “Josh is a bit too social in class”. My stormy nature is something that lots of people pick up on.

          I’m not prone to extended periods of appearing to “[feel] at peace with the way [I] feel”. Regardless, I am in an unusual way, extraordinarily comfortable with who I am. It is interesting to me that if nothing else, I have been consistent, nearly 20 years later I am still being wished the same things as I was as a young teen.

           It was strange to read these words from someone who is no longer here. My father took his own life last year, but he left mine many years before that. Apart from failed attempts to reach out, we didn’t have much contact. His legacy was one of heartbreak, violence, and substance and physical abuse. One of the hardest things to reconcile for people, is the juxtaposition between good moments and the bad. Someone who is always an asshole, is fairly easy to write off. Someone who has shown moments of great caring and love can be harder to give up on completely. It is harder, because of the knowledge that, somewhere in there, lives a capacity for goodness.

          Long ago I decided to work on coming to terms with the fact that there are things in your control, and things that aren’t. Worry about how you conduct yourself and focus on being a virtuous person, a character-led person. Earn your self-love, earn your self-respect and let everyone else earn theirs too. Really, in light of this 20-year-old letter, I decided to make sure I continue to face challenges in the same honest, caring, intelligent way [I] have always done.

            A moment of goodness doesn’t mean that someone is a good person, any more than a moment of weakness necessarily makes them a bad person; a person is the sum of their experiences and actions.

           As a result, I’m able to enjoy the good times that I have had with people who turned out to not be so great in the long run. The fact that, in the end they were not the people I had hoped they would be, does not take away from the pleasant and wonderful moments that we have had together. It also doesn’t mean that I must maintain relationships with them, simply because once or twice they showed me a kindness. Everything has a season. I don’t expect warm days in winter, and I don’t believe that everyone is destined to be in your life for any predetermined amount of time either. There have been kind words, nice letters and pleasant gestures from people that are no longer in my life, and I know I have done the same for others.

                In the end, the very last letter that my father wrote to me, was written indirectly, and to all three of his kids.

           It was him actively writing us out of his will.

        Twenty years later, from this message of availability, love and understanding (even though it was unaccompanied by actions that match the words), the last message was one of isolation, rejection and distance.

​         Everything has a season. The lessons are no less valid, and in a way, he had given me advice to prepare me for what was to come regardless.
Extraordinary people face extraordinary challenges… they also manage to face those challenges. I know you will face the challenges ahead in ’99 in the same honest, caring, intelligent way you have always done – and I know you’ll come out on top – I just pray that you will know when you get there.

           I think maybe the lesson is to take the good times, the good advice and the good people when they have their season in your life. Don’t try to hang on to them when their season is done. Decide how you will face challenges and commit to being a person that you can be proud of. I will continue my work, continue to strive towards being the person that I want to be and encourage people to Just Be Nice. Twenty years on, I still hope that one day I will know when I get there.

A Rightful Place; A Road Map To Recognition.

Authors; Noel Person, Megan Davis, Jackie Huggins & Rod Little, Damien Freeman & Nolan Hunter, Warren Mundine, Stan Grant.

Edited by Shireen Morris, Foreword by Galarrwuy Yunupingu.

​“Australia is a nation of three parts: its ancient pre-colonial heritage, its inherited British institutions and its multicultural achievement. The Uluru Statement affords a unique opportunity to embrace the most Australian part of ourselves, and do it so in a way that upholds our successful constitutional system. This would be a belated recognition of the most ancient part of our nation.”

A rightful place is a collection of essays from esteemed Indigenous activists and academics, discussing the impact of the ‘Uluru Statement from the Heart’. This document was put together by 250 Indigenous representatives at a constitutional convention convened in 2017, calling for the establishment of a voice for representatives of Australia’s First Nations in the constitution. It also calls for a Makarrata Commission to provide a mechanism for truth-telling, agreement-making and ultimately reconciliation between the government and Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples.

This collection of essays is wonderfully written. Each writer brings an eloquent and considered discussion of objections, solutions and pathways forward on the subject of formal Indigenous recognition in the Constitution of Australia.

A makarrata is a Yolngu concept that essentially outlines a process and principles for dispute resolution between aggrieved parties. The resolution, however, is not only in name, Galarrwuy Yunupingu writes “This settlement is also a symbolic reckoning – an action that says to the world that from now on and forever the dispute is settled; the that dispute no longer exists; it is finished…. In past times a man came forward and accepted a punishment, and this man once punished was then immediately taken into the heart of the aggrieved clan”.

At stark odds to the current system of incarceration that we have in Australia, where one is the stigma of ones sins remains long after punishment or rehabilitation, the makarrata is a process in which moving on, forgiveness and genuine acceptance are part and parcel.

First, disputing parties must come together and speak their grievances. If someone speaks out of turn, or wildly, they are sent away to no longer be part of the process. The makarrata starts with a calm laying out of the issues, it is not a place for vengeance or anger. The leaders then seek to understand all the issues involved, and to find a middle ground upon which all parties can settle.              

The essays contained in this volume, discuss the challenges surrounding a representative voice for Australia’s first peoples. They seek permanent, indelible recognition as part of the history of this great country, not to re-write history, but to be acknowledged alongside the British institutions and multicultural achievements.

​They seek a voice in Indigenous affairs. Currently there is no mandated, representative voice of Indigenous interests in Parliament. While other countries (Norway, Canada, NZ) have representative bodies for their first nations to parliament, Australia still lacks this formal function. Those of indigenous descent that are in Parliament, are elected to represent their constituencies, not Indigenous outcomes. The Uluru Statement from the Heart seeks indigenous representation for law making that affects indigenous Australians.

Given that Aboriginal and Torres Straight Islanders only make up around three percent of the population of Australia, it is difficult for them as a group to force the hand of the democracy as a vehicle for change in their own affairs.

Overwhelmingly the rhetoric in each of these pieces is about overcoming objections to a proposal that is, at its very core, about bringing together a country, not separating it. That through a process of truth-telling, acknowledgement and empowerment, Indigenous Australians are able to more actively participate in crafting a better future for themselves, alongside and within the liberal democratic constitutional monarchy that currently exists.

Noel Pearson, who is an amazingly articulate and learned writer (I had to look up about 20 words from his essay), speaks to a possible future of bi-culturalism for Indigenous Australians. Where being Aboriginal is not separate to being Australian, but an element of ones’ complete identity. That they are not asking for a separate identity, but simply a better acknowledgement of the identities that indigenous Australians are trying to reconcile within themselves every day.

​It often pains me personally to hear people labour the point that Indigenous Australia needs to sort itself out, and that we have been here for hundreds of years so it’s not our fault etc. I think that it can be easy to forget for my generation, that until 1967 Aboriginal Australians were not citizens, unable to vote and had zero parliamentary representation. At the time of the referendum to recognise them Noel notes;

“Back when the referendum was crafted and overwhelmingly endorsed by the Australian people – 90 per cent of the country voted in favour of it – there was not one Indigenous lawyer in the country, let alone an Indigenous constitutional lawyer involved in the drafting of the amendment.”

I found this fact to be an absolutely mind boggling (albeit obvious if you think about it). It was only in 1967 that special provisions were made in the constitution to finally count Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islanders as citizens of the continent that they have inhabited continuously for some 60,000 years.

At the time, a considered and united amendment, coming from Indigenous Australians was not wholly possible, and in the 51 years since that recognition, the stark facts remain that Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islanders have among the highest incarceration rates and lowest life expectancies of the first world.

I recommend anyone who currently holds views for or against Indigenous constitutional recognition and mandated representation, to read this book. It addresses issues for both conservative and liberal arguments, for those who argue from Constitutional law and those who have cultural and self-determination as the forefront of their arguments. It is eye opening to hear the processes available to the first-nations of other sovereign countries, and encouraging to think that we could adopt those measures here to better look after our own Indigenous population.

I read this and feel hope, hope for a truth telling, hope that we can save the songs and stories of these peoples, hope for unity and prosperity, and hope for a future Australia that embraces all parts of its make-up. From the first inhabitants to the last, from the dreamtime to the present, and all that has come and gone in between. If we are to aspire to be a nation with a clear identity, there is no moral ambiguity in the empowerment of our First Nations.

Shout-out to Readings St Kilda for being a marvellous bookshop and allowing me to come across this gem late on a sunny afternoon.

Keep reading, keep sharing these posts (I really appreciate it), keep reconciling, keep working on a common language with which we can discuss these issues, and as always, Just Be Nice.

​- J

           ​With a title like Linchpin: Are you indispensable? How to drive your career and create a remarkable future. You could be forgiven for thinking that this is just another ‘business guru’ ‘ra-ra cheerleader’, ‘you can do it’ style of book that is heavy on the back pats and light on the practical application of doing good work…. But it’s not.
         Work hard, make mistakes, be accountable, be generous and develop skills that make you indispensable. Great messages to take away from a very practical account of a way forward, that acknowledges the various road blocks that prevent people from fulfilling their potential.
                From the industrialised nature of the school system, to modern journalism, to a discussion of the kinds of jobs that are prevalent in society today and their worth, Godin presents a part anthropological, part historical, part how-to manual for navigating these environments.
                Godin doesn’t present an easy, pain free version of a successful career path, rather a generous, fulfilling one. One that requires self-awareness and a dedication to doing all the right things, even when you don’t think anyone is watching.
                In talking about the myriad ways that people can become indispensable to clients, customers and employers, he illuminates a range of possibilities for people who are ready to take responsibility for their own personal and career evolution.
                Much of what Godin promotes in Linchpin is in the creating of what he calls ‘Art’.
                “Art is a personal act of courage, something one human does that causes change in another.”
                “Art is a personal gift that changes the recipient.”
                Art is the effort that a human puts in to make things better for someone else, without thought of immediate reward, or pats on the back, or recognition. The Art that Seth Godin speaks about is an act of gift-giving that at once changes someone else’s life in some way, while helping you to become indispensable.
                I have to say, rather than most of the ‘gurus’ that write business books that either lack humanity, and treat people like pawns, or lack a realistic picture of the work it takes to make it in any field, or the books that just flat out say nothing of importance at all, Linchpin was a fantastic read.
                Godin’s advice works, and I can prove it!
I have, over the years, heard bits and pieces of Seth Godin’s stuff on various interviews, podcasts, read a few articles and blogs etc, but he never really engaged me. Then, I listened to an old podcast of his – The Seth Godin Start-up School. It was really great, a series of short pieces taken from a workshop he did around 2011 or something. It was very generous, had a handful of very practical and insightful tips, and so, out of appreciation for his efforts, I went and purchased a few of his books.
                Seth was generous, he was an expert and he gave me a gift that I wanted to repay.  All that happened BEFORE I actually read Linchpin, so now I know what was going on! Regardless, I am not disappointed.
                I highly recommend this book to anyone who believes that they need to change what they are doing to feel fulfilled or become more successful, to anyone who lacks the conviction to do the scariest thing (Ship your product/art/etc), and to anyone who is interested in a perspective of what the future of work and successful workers might look like!

                Thanks Seth, for practicing what you preach and doing an excellent job along the way, I hope that everyone finds the courage to be better, be more generous and create more art in their day to day lives as a result of this book.

​                A collection of short stories from Boccaccio’s The Decameron translated by Peter Hainsworth.
                Book number one in the 80 volume Little Black Penguin Classics set that I purchased at the beginning of the year, I have set myself the challenge of reading 100 books in 2018, including the 80 of this set, so it will be interesting to see if I can keep up the pace of writing reviews (on average) twice a week.
                The first book in this set is by an author I have heard nothing about, ever, but a quick google tells me that he is a Florentine writer from the 1300’s. Apart from the setting of the short stories, I would not have picked the time that he was born, given the lively interpretation of what is a racy and ribald account of virility, infidelity, trickery, manipulation and lust.
                There are four short stories in total, all of which relate to some instance of sexual misconduct or relationship management. As they are short stories, to give the plot away would also give much of the charm away, so I would simply say that as a start to a collection of 80, it was an engaging, funny and ironic way to kick it off. The more time you spend reading classics and tales from hundreds or thousands of years ago, the more you realise that we are not so advanced as we may think. Technology can only mask human nature to a certain extent, but these stories certainly do not seem dated or out of place in modern society, even if the settings are certainly straight out of the 14th Century.
                I have no expectations of what to expect from the set of Little Black Penguin Classics, but nonetheless, I was pleasantly surprised at the nature of volume one. A good mix of humour and sex, two things that never fail to entertain.
                Onto the next one!

​With over 2 million books sold, a title that is frequently touted as one of the ‘must reads’ in any self-respecting businessman, investor or entrepreneurs’ library this one has been on my ‘to-read’ list for a long time.
                In fact, if I am honest, over a decade ago, I recall trying to remember it’s title and I ended up reading King Solomons Mines accidentally, waiting for the nuggets of financial wisdom to reveal themselves to me in the completely wrong book!
                The Richest Man In Babylon, published first in 1926, holds investment advice that is no doubt as true today as it was 92 years ago. It tells a series of parables and stories of conversations between interested parties and wealthy, self-made (fictional) Babylonians.
                Of course, even though these stories are all fiction, the messages are clear. Clason promotes a system of saving and investing that begins with putting aside 10% of all that you earn, before you do anything with it. This 10% is then, over time, to be invested with people who know about what they are investing in. Do not trust the bricklayer to invest in gems for instance.
                On top of this are a number of strategies and discussions pertaining to the getting of luck and discussions surrounding the topics of self-made men Vs. those who happen across great fortune.
                It is a concise and interesting discussion of how to budget effectively with the assistance of a plan, as well as being an interesting look at whether self-made people are lucky or merely better at spotting and taking advantage of opportunities.
                A good collection of home-spun, sensible fiduciary wisdom, that makes a lot of sense, even though it puts the onus on individuals to do the work, save, make sensible investment decisions and delay procrastination in order to best take up opportunities as they present themselves.
                It is a far cry from the believe it and it will be so crowd of books that touts manifestation and visualisation ahead of hard work, discipline and relentless pursuit of being your best. I prefer the kind of cold, hard facts of doing the right work and being sensible to achieve great things over time, but that is simply my preference!
                All in all, I believe this would actually be a great book for teenagers to read and discuss, as the habits it speaks to forming would be well suited to those who are on the beginning of their earning/working journey.
                Not overly long, at only a couple of hundred pages with a pretty large typeface, if you see this book for sale cheap or at an op-shop etc, I would recommend giving it a read over a weekend and seeing if there isn’t something in there to prevent you making excuses and inspire you to prepare for the future rather than simply living in the hedonistic present.
                If you have read it, or do read it, I’d love to hear your thoughts.