Why Bother Being Passive Aggressive?

I actually think the thumbs up is perhaps even more passive aggressive, but I like eye-rolls.

            What on earth is passive aggressive? Low key treating people like shit because you are upset at them in the hope that by you treating them like shit they will work out what is wrong and then apologise profusely so that you can continue to be grumpy at them regardless?
                What a waste of everyone’s time.
               Being passive aggressive serves no one. You have to be miserable, or a bit of an asshole for a period of time (which surely you don’t want). Only to try and teach a lesson to someone that may or may not even realise.
               Try this.
               Be actually aggressive. Well not too aggressive, but if you have a grievance…. Air it. Immediately. Like an adult. Don’t let it fester and ruin good time for everyone. If it isn’t important enough to tell someone directly, it’s probably not important enough to be an asshole about for any period of time.
               There is absolutely nothing wrong with being upset with someone, or being annoyed, frustrated or even angry. But there is something wrong with half pretending you’re annoyed and half not pretending you’re annoyed so that someone else can attempt to work out your problem.
               If you just mention you’re upset about something, it can be discussed and dealt with on the spot!
               I’m not surprised that people love looking for reasons to be passive aggressive and grumpy, today in my news feed (of news, not the Facebook feed), every single headline was a negative spin on something. EVERY ONE! We are subconsciously being trained to look for things that are wrong in all the comments, media and discussions around us! Passive aggression, however, is a special kind of trick because it isn’t about anyone else except the person who is engaging in the behaviour. It is a selfish way of being mad.
               Who wouldn’t rather just have a family member, work colleague or friend tell you they are annoyed? Sure, being told you have annoyed someone can be confronting at first, but when compared to a day/week/month/year of strange passive aggressive, useless behaviour, it is a godsend.
               Airing grievances doesn’t mean they get solved, but at least when you bring them up like a grown up everyone knows why you are mad!
               Next time you are thinking about being passive aggressive, run it through a couple of filters.

1. Is this person actively trying to bother me?
2. Is the thing they are doing/have done/have said etc. really that upsetting and important?
3. Important enough to bring it up to their face?
4. Am I really annoyed about something else and feel like taking it out on them?
5. If I died immediately after this confrontation, would I be ok with their last memory of me.
6. If they died immediately after this confrontation, would I be ok with the last thing I confronted them with?
7. Does this person have other things going on in their life that don’t revolve around me and so they are acting in a way that is helping them get through their day?

If you answers are

1. No
2. No
3. No
4. Yes/Maybe
5. No
6. No
7. Yes

               Maybe just get over it, get on with your life, and save yourself the stress of having to either be mad, or have a discussion about things that annoy you.
               You don’t have to like everyone, no one likes everyone! You don’t have to be happy all the time, or even accept that people will never annoy you. You simply have to let go of passive aggression and either be a grown up, or let it go.
               If its not that important, then its not that important. If the person consistently annoys you, either stop having anything to do with them, or (if you have to work with them) accept that they are annoying and work on the one thing you can change….YOUR attitude.
               Don’t waste your life carrying around baggage on behalf of people that don’t even notice you’re carrying it, don’t sweat the small stuff, and as always, Just Be Nice.

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